How To Spot an Ex-Pat at 10 Paces

How To Spot an Ex-Pat at 10 Paces http://kellybmclachlan.blogspot.com/2015/08/how-to-spot-ex-pat-at-10-paces.html

How To Integrate

How To Integrate http://kellybmclachlan.blogspot.com/2015/10/how-to-integrate.html

My Struggle To Speak Spanish

Being able to converse in another language is an amazing achievement, and anyone who can do so fluently definitely deserve a huge round of applause in my humble opinion.  You see, I'm never going to be fluent in Spanish. There were times when I thought I'd NEVER get to grips with the language, and just trying to comprehend the verbs is in itself another language!

But, it CAN be done.

I have a bit of a head start because my kids go to non English speaking schools and just have a couple of English classes a week. Helping them with homework has helped me learn new things too.

For example:

There are lots of words with more than one meaning. I know it's the same in English, but here's a couple to think about: somebody may be talking about a broken doll until you notice the plaster cast on their wrist. I also thought it unusual to call the marca blanca (own brand) in the local supermarket 'four stations', then I realised that estación also means season. Yes, four seasons sounds better.  'Cola' is another one, not only is it the popular fizzy drink down this way, it also means the following: are you ready? A queue of people, a tail (of a cat or a dog, for example) and glue, you know, what I would  call 'gloopy' glue.  And there's carrera, which is a race or a journey, and of course, there's the caña, which is, as we all know, a small beer, but it's also a fishing reel! Same words, VERY different meanings! My favourite things to say in Spanish are things like "Como se llama" and "que es la palabra yo busco" because even after all this time I STILL can't speak fluent Spanish. I say "OK" a lot instead of "vale" and "right" instead of "claro". I'm not even sure why I say these things. It's no secret that I'm one of the few foreigners on town. We watch English TV in the house and always speak in English to each other. The kids read stories from English books and make up stories to tell each other in English. My eldest has been to the doctor with my husband to translate before now!

Speaking Spanish fluently at a young age is such an achievement for my girls and I am so so proud of them both, but, English is also very important. My eldest insists she knows it all when of comes to learning English at school so doesn't really pay attention in class, but as I found out when I was studying English to teach as a second language, there is so much of it I take for granted and I tried explaining to her that actually English is complicated! As I mentioned earlier, I have the greatest of admiration for anybody who speaks more than one language, but sometimes the struggle is real.  I say "hello" to the kiddies at the school gate, because I'm known as the 'English' lady. I love to speak in English and there are lots of people around these parts who are studying our beautiful language, for work etc, and I've said to all those that I know of, "si quieres hablar en inglés, puedes hablar conmigo"

Always happy to help!

Can anybody relate? Or is it just me?

K
Xx

Returning "Home"

Returning "Home"

Due to unforeseen circumstances in Spain, I have been forced to return home to the UK at short notice with my two young daughters.  We are all British passport holders, I have registered with the local doctor and to vote with the council, my kids have already started school at the local academy, I've opened a UK bank account and have strong family ties in the local area. Naturally, my family are beyond happy that we have returned.

Now, this is how it REALLY is...

Recently, when the floods hit Cumbria, David Cameron boldly said something along the lines of "we must look after our own first" instead of send millions abroad in foreign aid.  Except, of course, if you're a returning British expat.

I had to sit the Residential Habitual Test, which I was expecting.  Of course, I had previously done some online research about this, and I found out that if I did all of the above, I may be able to have my "residency".  Unfortunately, this was not to be, I failed simply because I have not been in the country long enough.  This means that I am not entitled to ANY benefits for myself or my kids.  As UK passport holders I feel that this is grossly unfair.  I have had many phone calls with several departments and the Citizens' Advice Bureau and I have been informed that "ALL those entering the UK are treated the same".  Not true.  I feel I am being discriminated against because I am a British passport holder as are my children.  I am NOT "entering" I am returning, and I believe that my rights should be slightly more than those who claim benefits and send money abroad and those who are already abroad and WRONGFULLY claiming for their children.  I even used the word "discrimination"

I have been in touch with my local MP who kindly offered me food vouchers so I can feed my children at my parents' house and, grateful as I am, these food vouchers will not pay for public transport to attend meetings at the local job centre for advice on how to find work (I am not entitled to this OR any kind of child benefits for my kids) nor will food vouchers pay for school uniforms for my daughters.  The eldest is 10 years old and is not entitled to school dinners, which I of course cannot pay for out of my non-existent income.  I was told that after 12 weeks I will become eligible for all the benefits but three months is a very long time when you have no money.

I have had to register as homeless with the local council who will try to find us a home.

The flat I was renting in Spain is being sold and I have to return to sort out the paperwork on that, so I have had to call the job centre to cancel my "claim".  That I am not entitled to.  I am so confused, I have never had to deal with anything like this before. 

I know I was lucky to find places at the local school, there are several who need to travel from all over town and I can walk it in 10 minutes.  I am thankful for that.  I am also thankful to my fantastic family and friends for keeping us going for the last few weeks

On my return do I have to resit the HRT?  Will everything have to start all over again? Will I have to wait for ANOTHER 12 weeks with no money?  I know nothing about any of this and I say to everybody I meet "talk to me like I am an idiot"

I think this policy needs a serious rethink, and the politicians should do more to help their own, and maybe, just maybe, Britain will one day be "great" again.

(THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND MAY NOT BE THE SAME FOR ALL RETURNING EXPATS).

How To Integrate

We hear it all the time...

"Foreigners coming here and not wanting to learn the language, take our jobs, open their own businesses, employ their own, etc etc.  I noticed the change a few years back on a trip to the Homeland.  My little town was now Polish.  Most of the main street was now Polish greengrocers, Polish shops, and even a Polish pub.  I was like something from London.  Walk through certain parts of town and there you have it.  A little bit of Arabic, or Italian, or Chinese, or indeed anything!

Think about how the Spanish must have felt when the Brits came over in their droves a few years back.  All the urbanisaciones bought up by foreigners.  New houses, pubs and restaurants popping up all over the place.  There are as many as 800,000 British expats in Spain.  Most are retired.

So, how do we integrate?

Learning the language may seem a little too obvious, but believe it or not, not everybody in the world speaks English.  When I first arrived here, one of the first things I learned to say was "¿Hablas ingles?" to which I was usually sneered at.  I heard "You come to my country, you speak my language".  Fair enough.  Some hire tutors.  Mine  did things the traditional way.  Slapped a textbook down and said "VERBOS".  That's enough to strike fear into any expat's heart.  But we weren't taught what to say when we need to sort out paperwork.  There's LOTS of paperwork.  For everything.  Like everywhere.  But when you don't know where you're going, who to talk to or what to say, it becomes a bit of a struggle.  True?  What we need is conversational Spanish.  How good does it feel to be able to hold a half decent conversation at the school gate?  Even if it's about the weather?  Or last night's match?  Or what you did at the weekend? In Spanish?

Nowadays it's much easier, we just go online and log on to our Spanish courses or download an app.  But then, we didn't have the internet or a computer.  We went to the internet cafe to sent the occasional email to friends back home.  Just old fashioned mobile phones that cost a fortune to call home on.  Or send a text.

The kids now study English at school.  There are English academies popping up everywhere.  It's a different world now to what it was 12 years ago.  But then I lived on a mostly Brit ubrbanisaion.  The only people who spoke Spanish were the locals who had been there for years, running their little businesses and working the few shops and only supermarket there.  I worked with British bosses and colleagues and served a Mainly English speaking clientèle.  And those who couldn't speak it, at least tried.  And we found out that the best way to learn Spanish is by talking to people.  Don't be shy.  That's my downfall.  I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing.  But I'll go ahead and say it anyway, and be corrected.  And that's how you learn.  If your self esteem is super low and you feel the need to go hire an interpreter to go to the Town Hall, or the the bank, or to the TGSS, then so be it.  But once you can go and do it yourself the imagine the boost in self confidence!  And saving money on translators!  Better still!

Moving away from the Urb helped tremendously with the language barrier.  Living in a town with only maybe half a dozen other native English speakers has done us a massive favour.  My kids are only native English speakers in their respective schools and the little one is a superstar in her English class  Big one, unfortunately think she knows it all so doesn't really pay attention.  But as I found when I was studying to become an English teacher, English is COMPLICATED.  You don't really think of it as difficult, but it is.  So BIG thumbs up to everyone studying our beautiful language and all the lovely students I've had the pleasure of meeting and teaching so far.  I think it's fantastic that so many people are learning English now, but that is NOT an excuse to stop practising your Spanish!  Even if you're asked to speak in English, only agree to help each other practice.  Before you know it, you may have even made a friend.

Find a local 'intercambio'.  These are great for meeting people and chatting.  They usually take place in a cafe or bar and folks come along to chat and help each other with their respective language. Great idea.  Brings in customers too.  Everyone's a winner.  Pick up the local perodico (newspaper) and try to make out the headlines and adverts.  Pick words out of the passage.  Watch Spanish TV.  Why not?  The weather girls speak very quickly but after a while you'll start picking up words and again by reading the headlines on the news broadcast.

Have a day away from fellow Brits.  I know it might be hard to see beyond the urb walls but there's a whole country out there, and it's beautiful.  I'm not saying abandon local businesses but don't be afraid to venture into the nearest Spanish speaking town and try a tapa instead of a Sunday roast.  Order a Spanish beer.  Think of it as an adventure.  Try out your Spanish skills and ask directions to the campo if you're feeling really adventurous!

That's what it is...an adventure.  We shop in local Spanish supermarkets, instead of heading miles out to the nearest Iceland.  I read the perodico, look at my kids' homework, and help out with making nik naks for the kids at the school, go to teachers meetings and volunteer to help with English classes at the infant school.  The kids all say "Good morning" (yes, in English!) on the way up to school now.  It's great.  Great that there are more people than ever signing up for English classes and great that they want to practise but please don't use that as an excuse to be a little lazy with the Spanish.  If we ALL made more of an effort to support each other, I think we'd all be happier.

I'm sure they'll be more to come on this subject!
Do YOU have any thoughts or tips?
Let me know

TTFN
Kelly x

#WorldMentalHealthDay: My Opinion

Ok, so it's World Mental Health Day, it's been trending all day on Twitter, so I thought I'd just add my tuppence worth.  I know this may sound a little mean, but I'm sure that most of the "retweeters"have no idea what it's like to suffer from this dreadful invisible illness.

They're the lucky ones.

It's fantastic that they're all jumping on the bandwagon and raising awareness, but how many of them have actually suffered from or lost somebody close to depression?  Do they actually offer comfort to sufferers?   Some may work with the ill, and I have nothing but praise for these folks.  They're doing a great job.  Every last one.

Yes, depression has affected loved ones.  Personally, I'm not going to spill my guts here, but I will say that it's hard with no support.

What if you're suffering and there's no one to turn to?  What if you can't afford that call to the Samaritans?  What if there's no family or friends?  Then what?  What if you're in denial?

Depression is a horrible, dark, scary lonely place.  I drapes itself round you like an ugly dark cloak and sometimes it's hard to break free.  Some people never do, and it leads to heartbreaking consequences for all involved.

"Surround yourself with people who make you feel better"

"Do something that makes you happy"

Sometimes, just sometimes, you may want to be alone and the things that make you happy just don't work.  It's just a huge, empty void of darkness.

"Go and talk to your doctor if you feel that bad"

"Snap out of it"

"There are so many people in the world who are much worse off than you"

Comments like this do NOT help.  We've all heard them, right?  A mug of tea, hug and a sympathetic ear help.

What if you don't want to go to the doctor because you feel you'll be wasting their time?  Sometimes, you're made to feel guilty for feeling so bad.  What's the difference between "having a bad day" and depression?   Do anti depressants actually help?  Or is it all in your head?  Well, yes, it is, in a way, it's classed a "mental illness" and it covers a whole spectrum of symptoms. So many questions.  We can Google it as much as we like but we'll never understand it's full complexity.

Some days it IS hard to get out of bed and go about your daily routine, but get through the day and congratulate yourself for surviving it.

Help IS out there.  Nobody should feel totally alone.  But sadly, some do.  I follow blog of a lady who is depressed, and the stuff she writes is straight from the depths of her soul.  Just sharing what's inside your head, to me, is a HUGE step forward.  Writing stuff down, getting it "out there".  The first step is always the most difficult to make, and all those people out there who have admitted they need help are amazing.  Those who are on the long, hard road to recovery...better still.

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?  For some, yes.  And that is the hardest battle to overcome.  To find that light and have something to strive for.

I know that "things will get better" seem like empty words.  But they're kind words.  And sometimes, that's all we need to make our day a little better.  A little more manageable.

So please be kind, you never know the personal battle somebody may be fighting.

Let me know your thoughts, it shouldn't be swept under the carpet and ignored.  Every day should be #WorldMentalHealthDay
#Stigma

Until next time...

Spanish Life - Getting On With It

Have you ever tried to apply for benefits in Spain?  Me neither.  But, fingers crossed our experience may be able to help others in the same situation as us.

We have never claimed a penny (or centimo, if you prefer) from the Spanish government.  And now with the work situation the way it is, we have no choice, like many, many others.

We have a list as long as the street of bills to pay, schoolbooks to buy, etc and let me tell you it is NOT an easy life as an expat here in Spain.  It can be daunting when you don't have a clue where to go or who to talk to, but I'm sure we'll get there in the end.

My hubby is off work at the moment, we're waiting for word from the hospital to have his hernia removed.  He had two before, but the silly hospital only took one away.  Now the other one has woken up and realised it's lonely, so hubby has to go to the Mutua once a month to be assessed while we're awaiting that all important call from the hospital.  As well as this he's at the doctor's every week for a 'baja' (sicknote?)  So that part of it we have sorted. We make a weekly appointment and off he goes.  But sick pay doesn't pay the rent.  And, of course all the time he's signed off he can't work.  So he's been in front of the telly ALL summer.  Flick, flick, flick....

I'm told that the 'crisis' is almost over and fingers crossed things will get better for everyone here who's struggling, now we need to wait for a piece of paper (always need lots of those...) the 'certificado de empresa' and see where we go from there...

"Poco a poco", eh?